Angel by Day, Devil by Night: A Media Story - Part 1
The media are often said to have the role of supervising and monitoring the government. But who is monitoring the media, known as the emperor without a crown? These days, there are self-appointed Internet critics who challenge media accounts. The following is an example.
On February 23, 2006, Southern Weekend published the article 'Angel by Day, Devil by Night' about a female school teacher who sold her body in order to meet family obligations. An English-language translation has been made by Ramsi Woodcock at Press Interpreter. Here is the opening section:
On New Year's eve 2006, 23 year old Xu Ping, a female village school teacher, looked around the table full of family members.
Xu Enhuai looked at the unusually mature face of his daughter and said something of deep significance to his three sons: "In the future, when life is good, you absolutely should not forget your older sister."
These words brought back the past four years' of bitter memories for Xu Ping. During spring festival 2002, when she became an adult, she went out secretly to sell herself in order to pay off the family debts and her brothers' tuition. From that time on, she taught school in the village from Monday to Friday and travelled to the city Saturday and Sunday to sell herself. It was not until two years later when the pressure of remorse, illness and injury were on the verge of destroying her that she ended her career as a prostitute.
At the end of 2005, Xu Ping contacted this reporter by email as well as began posting her story on internet forums like Tianya, 263.net, and Bihaiyinsha. She described the difficult road her heart had taken in its struggle between love of family and feelings of guilt.
These posts were closely followed by the public. Was she an angel or a degenerate devil? How can human beings behave so contradictorily? This reporter has opened an investigation of these questions.
In order to understand the ensuing discussion here, you should read the rest of the translated article. Please pay particular attention to the plausibility of the details.
Now that you have read the original article, here are what the media critics are saying on the Internet. This does not make these critics right, but it shows that there are people out there making critical readings.
[in translation]
Southern Weekend's teacher-prostitute story is a fabricated story. By 万巍巍.
On February 23, Southern Weekend published a tragic story titled "Angel by Day, Devil by Night" about a kind-hearted woman who had to sell her body in order to support her brothers to attend school. This story attracted the eyeballs and concern of many readers. When I first read the story, I was reflective. Yet, upon re-reading, I found that many of the "facts" in the report could not withstand scrutiny. This has caused me to lean towards thinking that this was a totally fabricated story.
The reasons why I think this is a fabricated story are as follows:
(1) The report did not provide any details about the background of the principal character, such as the location. Of course, we understand the need to protect the reputation and privacy of the related individuals. But the problem is that according to the reporter Fu Jianfeng, the character "Xu Ping" was the one who requested to be reported about and she did not mind disclosing her real identity. Prior to the publication of this story, a number of websites had already published her "tragic life story." Under these circumstances, what is the purpose of concealing her true identity?
(2) On one hand, the reporter concealed the true identity of "Xu Ping." On the other hand, Southern Daily Group's website www.oeeee.com has published the bank account for donations to "Xu Ping." What is the purpose of this opaque method of donating money? What guarantee does Southern Weekend have that this was not a scam?
(3) In the report, everything related "Xu Ping"'s prostitution and sexually transmitted diseases came from "Xu Ping"'s personal account without any investigation by the reporter. Is this type of story trustworthy?
(4) There are many details in the report that do not withstand scrutiny. Here are some examples:
The report began as follows: "On New Year's eve 2006, 23 year old Xu Ping, a female village school teacher, looked around the table full of family members ..." This is a full live report, but did the reporter actually witness it? On the basis of the full report, it is for certain that the reporter did not witness it. If he did not witness it, then he has constructed a false eyewitness account, and this is unacceptable journalism. (If this is reportage literature, then such an "imagined reality" might be acceptable)
The report claims that the "Xu" family has three sons, one in university, two in middle-school and "the tuition is at least 20,000 RMB per year." Is that true? Based upon my understanding, a university student may pay tuition as much as 10,000 RMB per year. So the two middle-school students have to pay 10,000 RMB per year (or 5,000 RMB per person). In an impoverished area, what kind of middle school demands the students to pay 5,000 RMB per year in tuition?
The report claims that the "Xu" family "took out a high-interest loan of 140,000 RMB from the local 'Rural Village Foundation' in order to purchase a truck" to transport bananas. According to what I know, a very good truck costs less than 100,000 RMB, and even 50,000 RMB will buy a good truck. Then why did the "Xu" family need 140,000 RMB to buy a truck? (140,000 RMB can buy a heavy-duty coal-hauling truck, but that obviously was not needed to haul bananas).
Concerning the matter of the truck: The report claims: "The high maintenance fees and three car accidents thoroughly ruined this rural farmer who had no ability to withstand adversity." The writer should explain what "maintenance fees" and "car accidents" caused the Xu family truck not to generate profits. According to what I know, transportation is a profitable business in general. Why did the "Xu" family truck have such a sad story?
More about this "local 'Rural Village Foundation'": since this involves high-interest loans, I hypothesize that this is an illegal private loan organization. But the report also claimed that the 140,000 RMB loan has still not been repaid as of today; furthermore, the debt has now gone up to 200,000 RMB. My question is: Is it possible that an illegal lender would allow the vast sum of 140,000 RMB to go unpaid for more than a decade? Are there such generous high-interest lenders? Could the Huang Shiyan's of today be charitable leaders?
More about this high-interest loan: Since it is a high-interest loan, it has to be an illegal private loan. But the report claims that "before the Chinese New Year in 2002, the Foundation pressed on the loan and asked the court to take over their family house." We know that the law protects private loans, but it will not protect any illegal private loans (especially high-interest ones). So on what basis did this "Rural Village Foundation" ask the court to enforce the debt repayment? Was this court supporting high-interest loans? Furthermore, court orders are issued only after civil cases are processed. Does this not mean that the so-called "Rural Village Foundation" had sued the "Xu" family and then won in court? (If the local court really protected the high-interest lenders, then I recommend Southern Weekend reflect this situation to the Supreme Court in order to sanction the local court).
The report claims that "Xu Ping" only managed to sell her body for 300 RMB the first time. Is this credible? Based upon all the reports on the Internet, virginity is worth a few thousand RMB no matter what. Did the desperately needy "Xu Ping" not care about money?
The report describes a decent-quality man who loved "Xu Ping" and bought her "cakes, red wine, roses and a gold ring." But "Xu Ping" took those gifts and still continued her prostitution. From this, it would seem that her life of prostitution was not forced by circumstances. This particular detail is inconsistent with the main theme hyped by the reporter about being forced into prostitution due to poverty.
Of course, there are other details. On the Internet, I read the "auto-biography" of "Xu Ping" and it mentioned her Buddhist faith. In the Southern Weekend article, there came Christianity and "Xu Ping"'s solemn thoughts on heaven and hell. Is this to say that before meeting the Southern Weekend reporter, "Xu Ping" has already forgotten about her previous inner struggles? At this time, I must say that I admire the creativity of the reporter.
In summary, I believe that there are too many contradictory details in this Southern Weekend article. It was just too obviously fabricated, and it basically has no credibility.
These days, certain media can publish anything in the name of making money. In order to preserve their 10,000 plus RMB monthly salary, the Southern Weekend reporter fabricated a "shocking" tragic story and his motivations are not hard to understand.
Here is another one:
[in translation]
Also about the numerous flaws in the Southern Weekend teacher-prostitute story. By 龙年.
Unverified matters should not be published as news.
First, how big is Lianjiang City? This is a county-level city. It is not like Beijing with so many counties and districts that one cannot go from one end to the other end in one full day. This place has its own dialect and there are some special local characteristics. If she goes into the city to sell her body, everybody will know her in a year or two. Won't the students run into her? Won't the students' parents run into her? If she goes to the places of ill-repute in this small city at night, won't the students see her? Wouldn't they look at her with suspicion? How can she keep this a secret?
If she sells her body and nobody knows her, who is going to offer good money for her? If she is famous, then all the patrons will look for her (this is a natural interest) and then they will find out about her. She can get a better price if she says that she is a teacher and a lower price if she says that she is a peasant. But then, she will expose her identity.
This whole story is illogical, and it is also unverifiable.
I know that when a Dalian girl wants to sell her body, she goes to Guangzhou. I have never heard anyone selling themselves in front of their homes. Only in places like Guizhou where they don't think this is shameful will they sell their bodies in front of their homes.
Therefore, this affair does not fit with the logical rules and it is not consistent with the unwritten rules of prostitution.
Secondly, it was claimed her young brother is at the Dalian Technological University. But this university accepts only 15 students per year from Guangdong and there has never ever been anyone from Lianjiang city.
Thirdly, all the things about her is based upon what she said. I can say that Dalian girls Zhang Ziyi and Qin Hailu all like me too, but I turned them down.
Fourthly, if I have kids at her school, I would transfer them away immediately! If they stay, they would be learning how to sell their bodies from her!
Fifthly, did she not say that someone who is the age of her father liked her and wanted to get married immediately! Why should you care whether he is a bigamist or not! Just be careful afterwards and have fewer children (best not to have any)! If the children are born with sexually transmitted diseases, then would be bad; if there are too many children, the girls would have to sell their bodies too!
"I am an elementary school teacher. I am twenty-three years old. I graduated from middle school in 2001 and then I joined the education sector by become a substitute teacher . At the time, the monthly salary was 300 RMB, except it was not issued on a regular basis. Although the amount was small, I enjoyed the work and I wanted to become a teacher ever since I was very young. My parents are farmers. My three younger brothers are students. The family economic situation is not good, so all my salary was turned over to my parents. During the Chinese New Year of 2002, I encountered a pimp by chance and I began to work as a "miss" because I needed more money to pay for the tuition fees of my younger brothers. At the time, my younger brother was just admitted into the Dalian Technological University where the tuition was more than 10,000 RMB per year. My two other younger brothers are in middle school."
She is twenty-three years old now. During the Chinese New Year of 2002 four years ago, she was 19 years old. At the time, her younger brother was admitted to Dalian Technological University. Since there were no Spring admissions, he must have made it in 2001 where he was 18 years old (or 19 years old). If he were younger, then he must be a genius. He qualified in 2001 and so he is either 19 or 20 by 2002. This is her younger brother? Are they of the same age? Or because her mother gave birth after only a six-month pregnancy period?
Her two other younger brothers are in middle-school. Middle-school students typically enter at 16 and graduate at 19. It is possible to be just a bit younger by entering elementary school at 6 and going into middle school at 15. But this is past the Spring Festival, so they are one year old (that is, 16 and 17 years old).
So, her mother had four children in a row at age 16 (or 17), 17 (or 18), 18 and 19.
Is that possible?
Generally speaking, women do not get impregnated while they are nursing their children. Exceptions are very rare. So this woman, who is the mother of the teacher-prostitute, can have consecutive pregnancies over four years. Do the laws of nature not apply to her.
How can this fabricated story be written?
Here is a reaction to the preceding post:
What did people think when they read the following paragraph:
I know that when a Dalian girl wants to sell her body, she goes to Guangzhou. I have never heard anyone selling themselves in front of their homes. Only in places like Guizhou where they don't think this is shameful will they sell their bodies in front of their homes.
I ask the author that since you said that "Unverified matters should not be published as news," then when you claim that "only in places like Guizhou where they don't think this is shameful will they sell their bodies in front of their homes," how did you arrive at that conclusion?
"Only in Guizhou" means that nowhere else in the whole nation would people sell their bodies in front of their homes? I don't know how you came to that conclusion? Did you check out all the places that facilitate prostitution around the country? Personally, I feel that this is your prejudice against Guizhou. Many of us have encountered all kinds of regional or sexual discrimination, but the law cannot afford to help all those being discriminate against under all the situations. As a civilized society, cultural psychology and public opinion are the best protection against discrmination. We need to ask ourselves all the time if our alertness against discrimination have fallen asleep. Have we chosen to be silent when we should be supporting those who are being discrminated against.
"Discrimination" is a term that should not appear in any social domain, because we are all equal, we should understand each other and we should respect each other. Prejudice and discrimination can occur anywhere in soceity, and we need to eliminate them by working hard together.
And now for the best part: Angel by Day, Devil by Night: A Media Story - Part 2 in which Southern Weekend reporter Fu Jianfeng tells us about what actually happened during the investigation.
(Tianya) 我是徐萍，我有话要说
这些信都是我含着泪水写出来的，当时政府拖欠我三个月工资，而且也快要过年了，我写信到处申诉（包括我们的市委书记，焦点访谈，今日关注，各大媒体）可是都没有人理我，只有南方周末过来帮我把那三个月的工资拿回来。我两个高三的弟弟年初六就要开学了，我到那里去找钱给他们交学费。逼于无奈，只有向媒体求救。我宁愿把自己以前的事情说出来，都要把工资拿回来。如果拿不回来，我只能靠自己的方式去解决问题了。我只能把自己至于死地而后生了。
请大家能够给我一个重新做人的机会，好吗？信佛之后的我，只想按照佛的指示：多做好事，多说好话，多存好心。希望下辈子不要苦了。
第一篇：
《一名23岁乡村女孩子的真实故事 》
我是一名乡村小学教师，今年23岁。2001年中专毕业，就参加教学工作做了一名代课老师，那时候的工资是每个月300块，而且是不按时发放的。虽然钱是很少，但是我很喜欢这份工作，而且做老师是我小时候的理想来的。我父母是种田的，有三个弟弟读书，家庭经济情况不是很好，所以我的工资都是上交给父母。 02年春节的时候，一个偶然机会，我认识了一个拉皮条的，就出来做小姐了，因为我需要更多的钱给我弟弟读书，当时大弟弟考大学考上了XX理工，一年都需要一万多，而且还有两个弟弟正读高中。父母的担子很重，我这个做姐姐的应该为家里面分担一些担子。所以平时星期一到五我就在农村里给学生上课，周末就跑出城市里面卖淫。我不是一个天生下来就做“鸡”的人，可是为了家人我逼不得已这样生存，心理面很矛盾也很痛苦，经常担惊受怕，也常做恶梦，梦见自己是怎么死的。每到暑假的时候也就是我最着急的时候，因为过完暑假，我需要很多的钱给我弟弟交学费，所以我压力很大，得不到解脱。
出来做的时候，我已经把我的尊严都抛弃了，心理面只有家人，一想到父母那着急的样子，还有弟弟读书那么勤奋那么听话，就让我什么都愿意为他们付出。我也不知道我为什么不能够象其她的女孩子那样贪吃贪玩不好好听父母的话，让父母操心。我想可能是我前世欠了他们的，所以今世要还债。而且身体是父母给我的，我在用我的身体去偿还欠他们的债。
在这其间，我堕了两次胎，孩子不知道是谁的，得过一次性病。病是最折磨人精神的东西，这比客人在我身上咬的伤疤还来的更痛苦更彷徨。
我就是这样天堂和地狱之间来回的走着。我所说的天堂是指我的学生们，因为他们很天真无邪，只有跟他们在一起，我才找回真实的自己。但是农村的小孩子生活也是很艰苦的，放学后，他们还得回家放牛淋菜喂猪做饭挑水等等一些家务。记得有一次，我去一个学生家里家访的时候，家里没有一个大人在，父母都出城市打工了，只剩下他们俩姐弟。晚饭就是酱油炒饭，我当时看了很心酸，就给了他们十块钱，叫他们买些榨菜鸡蛋的。还有一个学生整天光着脚来上课的，周末我出到城市的时候，也给他买了双鞋子。对他们，我只能够做一些力所能及的事情而已。
04年，一次偶然的机会，上网遇到一个网友。他是信佛的，他知道我的情况后，就把我给“度”了。可能是我也有慧根吧，不想再在苦海中挣扎了，开始慢慢的不想再作恶业了。重新换了电话号码，过着清贫的生活。那年，我通过自己的努力考取了公办教师，一个月700块钱。工资簿也是我父母代领，但是我已经不再是以前的想法了，我想我的能力只去到这里，我只能够帮到这里。就是这样，我过着平静的生活，即使家里有困难都好，我都会尽量去帮忙，问同学朋友借，没有再出来买身了。因为我答应菩萨，以后不会再让陌生的男人再见到我的身体了。
05年9月份，因为搞加工资，我现在所任的学校没有我的编制，我的编制在另外一所学校，但是我不在那所学校工作，搞到现在11月份我都还没有工资领。我有打电话去问过镇教办，他们说他们会出头帮我们搞的（不只我一个人，大概有十几个是这种情况的），工资就是要迟点才有得领。所以开学到现在，我每天都是只吃一块钱，买五毛钱的豆腐，五毛钱的青菜就吃一天。这种生活对我来说不算苦，因为我喜欢吃素，这样可以防止杀生，能够培养自己的慈悲心。出家的念头一直在我脑海里盘旋着，因为活着太累太苦了，即使自己没有出来做小姐了，但心依然还是得不到解脱，生活的压力还是很大，有一次正在给五年级的学生上课时压得我喘不过气来了，控制不了自己，眼泪不停的流下来，趴在讲台上抽泣起来。我知道在学生面前哭是不对的。但心太苦了，只有通过眼泪才能够把它们流出来。
11月15日下午，六年级的班主任在上思想品德课时，无意透露出陈老师已经有两个月没有工资领了，还是坚持那么认真的给同学们上课，我们应该向她学习。下课后，那些学生就自发组织要捐点东西给我（这事我是不知道的）。傍晚的时候，就有两个女同学踩着自行车，拿着一大袋东西给我，里面有二十多斤的大米，两个橙子一个柑子，两把青菜，一包话梅。我觉得很奇怪，问她们为什么要拿这些东西给我啊，而且我父母是种田的，也有米吃啊。她们只是说是孝敬我的，见我平时上课那么辛苦，而且对她们有好，拿来孝敬老师是很应该的。我硬是不要，但是她们不肯再拿回去了，说完就踩着车跑了。
第二天早上，上学的时候，陆陆续续的不断有学生提着东西往我宿舍里面送，有提着米的，有提着青菜豆角的，有的提着几斤蕃薯的，有的拿着鸡蛋的，还有一个调皮的学生给我四包方便面和一个鸡蛋的。一个早上下来，我的宿舍里都是堆满了学生送给我的东西。让我特别感动，我觉得我还没有穷到这个地步，需要孩子们这样的帮助我。趁着早读课的时候，我就去到六年级，流着泪对他们说：“老师家里也是种田的，你们不需要拿米给我，至于菜，老师一个人也吃不了多少。真的不需要你们这样做，只要你们好好学习，就是对老师最好的回报了。”然后给他们鞠了两个躬。说完了，下面的学生眼睛都湿润了。
下午的时候，这些学生又来到我的宿舍门口，拿着42块钱要我收下，说这是他们班学生的心意，一定要我收下，我没有答应。我说，你们是不是又想把老师给弄哭啊，你们都送我那么多东西了，这个学期都吃不完了，而且老师有钱真的不需要。但是他们没有听，把钱丢进我房间就跑了，之后我又上他们班说把钱退回去，但是他们集体抗议，不肯再把钱拿回来。我也没有办法。所以我打算把这钱拿去买些资料给他们做，多出来的我就垫出来。
有人劝我考取公务员，但是我真的不舍得我现在的这份工作，因为我的学生很爱我，而且他们也值得我这样的努力工作。
23岁的我，已经经历了很多东西，曾经该笑的时候没有快乐，该哭泣的时候没有眼泪，
而现在 能付出爱心就是福，能消除烦恼就是慧。或许人生在世就是一种修炼，只有看破红尘之后，才能大彻大悟
第二篇
《红尘有爱》
有好衣服穿，是没有人愿意穿烂衣服的，有一份正当职业的我，为了找钱供三个弟弟读书，我走上了做小姐的路。
那年我20岁，记得我的第一次是一个不到40岁的男人。我怀着忐忑不安的心来到他所开好的房里，当时房间的光线很昏暗，可以掩饰我紧张害怕的心，低着头的我一句话也没有说。他很温柔的问我，洗澡了没有，先去洗个澡吧，他在我还没有来的时候已经洗过了。洗完澡后，我还是穿好衣服出来。他偷笑了，抱着我躺在床上，边吻我耳朵边打开我衣服上的纽扣……当时，我只是紧闭着双眼，脑子里一片空白，就像个木偶，任人摆布。木偶是不会痛的，但我的心跟着我的身体隐隐作痛，属于我的纯真年代在这一晚经已结束。
第一次和一百次是没有什么区别的，我们只不过是各取所需，逢场作戏。即使心很苦，挣扎过矛盾过痛苦过，被人鄙视轻蔑为难过，但坚信“冷的是苦难，暖的是人性”，我的心不坏。就这样，平时在单位上班，周末出来XX做起兼职。我把我所赚到的每一分钱都交给了弟弟们读书，自己也通过参加成人高考，读起大专。边教书边读书边做小姐。
直到遇上文，一个温文尔雅，看上去很像大学老师的浑身充满成熟魅力的已婚男人。文大我18岁，认识他也是源于交易，他是第一次出来玩。他说我不戴眼镜的时候，看上去很可爱就像一个初中生。也许是我给他的印象很好，我们也很谈得来，后来每个周末他都会约我，开好房等我过去。一个月后，他对我说他爱上了我，心理面很矛盾和痛苦。又惊又喜的我只是面目表情的对他说，爱上我是你的错，你知道我是做什么的，他说他喜欢我，是因为我对家庭的这份责任感，能够放下自己而去成全弟弟们的学业，减轻父母的负担，能够像我这样的80年代女孩子，真的很难得，而且他以前也是穷过来的，他能够理解我。我只是苦笑，我不需要别人的爱，我只需要钱给我弟弟读书。
但文真的很傻，本身他是一名建筑工程师白天在单位上班，晚上还要照看自己开的药店，为了我去兼职了一份工作。白天在两个建筑工地之间奔走，用那份兼职工作的钱来帮助我，不许我出来做小姐了。
我21岁的生日，是文与我一起度过的。在赤坎宾馆开好的房间里，他早已准备好了蛋糕，红酒，玫瑰花，和一个铂金戒指。这一切让我好感动，原来做小姐的人也会拥有属于自己的爱情，被他爱着宠着疼着感觉好幸福。他让我过了一个令我终身难忘的生日。就这样我们热恋了，每天互通短信，晚上打电话都是几个小时也舍不得放下。周末我俩会到XX逛街，因怕在XX会被他朋友熟人看见。他喜欢我扎着两条小辫子，一蹦一跳走路的样子；喜欢我挽着他的手，像一对父女的样子。当然，我们也会有矛盾闹误会的时候，试过有一次，我们闹别扭，我打他电话他堵气不接。隔天早上他打电话过来我也不接，他以为我生气了，不停的打我手机，但我都没有接，因为我已经想好了怎么向他道歉。晚上买好了一束玫瑰花，冒着寒风霜冻，去XX找他。当他收到我的道歉礼物时感到很意外和惊喜，说他从来没有收过女孩子送的花，还以为我不理他了。但我知道，我是爱他的，不管将来发生什么事情，我只想把握好现在，跟他一起的时候，好好的对他。
其间，我有瞒过他出来接客，直到有一天我发现自己身体不舒服，去医院检查时，医生说是得了性病尖锐湿疣，当时心情跌到了谷底，吸了口冷气后，接受了医生的意见，做激光治疗。我也不知道自己是怎么熬过来的，下面都被烧焦了，全身都是汗水。医生叫我一个月之内不能过性生活。开始第一个星期时，我还可以骗文，说大姨妈来不舒服不方便，我们只不过是抱在一起聊天。第二个星期，还是在开好的房间里他要求过性生活，但是我说不行。他很敏感的问我是不是不舒服，我没有说话，他问我是不是得了性病，我还是没有出声。他追问我得了什么病，我象做错事的孩子一样小声地说：“尖锐湿疣。”当时他的眼睛都瞪大了，不敢相信我所说的一切，接着哭着说：“你怎么这样哦，得了这种病，这种病是很难医的，连自己的血液里面也会带有这种病毒的，就算医好你自己也会脱层皮。”他边穿好衣服边哭着说：“徐萍，这次我真的不理你了，你自己保重。”“砰”的一声，他关了门走了。空留下我一个人躺在床上哭，想着自己这次是死定的了，我该怎么办，连爱我的人都不理我了，这个世界上还有谁能够帮我。哭完后，擦干眼泪，穿好衣服，麻木的走在充满冬日阳光的街上，温暖的太阳照在我的身上，可是我却感觉不到温暖，心里冷冰冰的，象被判了死刑的囚犯一样。身心疲惫，也许死是最好的解脱。
第二天星期日我接到了文的电话，他说他昨晚一夜也没有睡，他想过了，现在的医生看病砍人很重的，我又没有钱，如果我没有把病看好的话，我会完蛋的，他说他是爱我的，先把我的病医好再说，以后我的路该怎么走就随我。
到现在我都一直很感激他。因为是他救了我，给了我第二次重生的机会。他是值得我这辈子去感激去怀念的男人。
文说对了，医院里的医生不是真的帮我的，她只是治标不治本。不久去检查，那些东西又长出来了，又做了一次激光手术，感觉自己好象千穿百孔一样。文拿了些干扰素的针水给我打，他给我的时候就跟我说过，只有打这些针才能够把血液里面的病毒杀死，但是同时也会把一些好的细胞也杀死。而且打完针水后，有些人受不了的会晕倒的。即使自己已经做好了心理准备，但是整个过程真的好辛苦，晚上睡也不是，站也不是，躺也不是，全身好痛。不断的用头撞墙，不断的哭，不断的叫妈。把自己折磨到累了，能够睡着为止。现在想起来，眼泪还是噗咻咻不断掉下来。还好一切都过去了，那时候我明白了，没有病没有痛能够做一个健康的人是最幸福的。这辈子我也不想再有这样的经历了，因为代价太大了。
性病医好没有复发后，我第三次做了激光手术，把之前堕胎遗留下来的宫镜靡烂医好。终于可以做回一个健康的人了。不管我怎么样，文一直都在帮我，关心我，对我不离不弃。
文真的很爱我。直到恋情被他老婆发现，他要求跟我结婚，同他老婆离婚。而我却逃跑了。因为我见过他儿子的照片，很漂亮的一个小孩就像他爸爸一样。文跟我说过，他爱他儿子就像爱我一样，我们在他心目中都是同样的重要。虽然我也是很爱文，但是我不能这样做，父母离异之痛的滋味我试过，孩子是无辜的，大人们怎么可以这么自私呢。
那段时间真的很难熬，我失去了世界上最爱我的人。每天傍晚独坐宿舍走廊门口，夕阳西下，吹着北风，看着手上文所送的戒指默默地流泪。想着我们在一起的日子，心好痛，好痛，好痛……
那年冬天，我参加了公师考试，以第五名的成绩成了一名公办教师。以我的工资去养家，再也没有出来做了。
文，你现在过得还好吗？你知道吗？每年的冬天，都会因为没有你而显得特别寒冷孤单。就算换了时空变了容颜，我依然还记得你眼里的依恋，纵然聚散由命也要用心感动天。文，虽然我们同在一个城市咫尺天涯，但是你在我心目中却是天涯咫尺。真的好想你，文！
如何忍住泪
如果遇见你
是前世修来的缘分
为什么我们的相遇
总有冰冷的雪在飞
如果说爱上你
是几世命运的轮回
为什么我们的背后
总有萧瑟的风在吹
告诉我诗要如何写
才不会在月下悲伤
告诉我歌要如何唱
才不会一个人独唱
告诉我泪该如何忍
才不会象雨落纷纷
告诉我心该如何痛
才不致转身后后悔
第三篇：
我写给XX市市委书记的信，发到他的电子信箱里三次了，但都被删除了，空留下无法查询的受理编号和密码。我很愤怒！
《写给XX市市委书记的信》
敬爱的X书记：
您好！望您能在百忙之中抽空看下我所写的信，我想反映下XX市政府和教育局的一些问题。
首先我是一名农村教师，03年底参加XX市公办教师考试，光荣的成为一名公办教师。但月工资与代课老师同样是300元，政策规定要做三年才能够领正式工资。当时我有写过信向您反映情况，04年9月份终于可以领到700元一个月，非常感谢您为我们解决了问题，您是个好官，能够为百姓排忧解难做点实事，我打心理面拥护和爱戴您。
下面就是我要反映的情况：
1． 无论是以前的教办主任，或者是教育局的领导出书，下面的老师都必须得捐款（最少100元）帮助印刷出版。他们好心的话，就会发一本回来给你，里面所写的内容无非就是一些他们的政绩，都是些垃圾作品，不值得一看。实质就是变相收刮钱财。我家里有一本，原XX镇教办主任XX出的《XXXX》，其他的只捐钱但没有书回来。
2． 2005年9月30日，XX市做博物馆，在建到一半时，要求全市每位在职教师要捐款100元，不捐的要写申请，说出你不捐的理由。做博物馆是好事，这应该是市政府工程，市政府拨款，为什么摊牌在老师身上？全市一万三千位在职教师，按每人一百，就有一千三百万元了，多出来的钱那里去了？最令人心寒的是，建好后为什么关门大吉？难道只是一个摆设吗？
3． 2005年11月上旬，XX市做生态公园，这也应该是属于市政府工程，为什么又要发动全市学生和教师捐款。可怜我的学生们，有些连鞋子都没有得穿，连笔都没钱买，谁由来捐款给他们呢？
4． 南亚海啸捐款，这是全国性的，我所属的XX镇，每个教师规定要捐款100元，这我无话可说。捐款应该是属于自愿性质，现在领导把它变成了强行摊派，还指定了捐款的钱额，不捐的人还要打申请，还要领导批准才能免捐。
5． 2005年12月14日，接到上面通知，修理XX（XX至XX）公路，这段路已经建好了一半。XX市政府和教育局发出通知说要扣领财政工资的教师一月份工资去修公路。我就纳闷，公路建设，省上面应该有拨款下来，有专门的资金去建设的啊。就算没有，每年所收机动车的路费和其他费用的钱都到那里去了？为什么动不动，就劳民伤财拿我们教师开刀？而且下面农村教师工资不高700—1200左右，如果都扣去了，你叫老师拿什么来吃饭？怎么安心来上课？打平均每人一千元，那么就有一千三百万了，这段路也建好一半了，需要这么多的资金吗？苦工都是由我们来做，成绩你们来拿也就罢了，但你们怎么可以连口饭都不肯给我们吃呢？
6． 再请看下某些公办教师，因为教师编制问题得不到解决，九月份至今四个月已经没有领过工资了，还得勒紧裤头给学生们上课。他们都没有工资领，市政府还得扣他们一个月工资去完成你们的政绩，请问这是什么世界？
7。村合作医疗保险，XX市XX镇政府实收30万，还欠30万，就挪用扶贫救济的款去完成医疗保险，上缴XX市60万，现在镇政府摊派任务要老师每个人做50个人的任务，完成不了的，自己拿出250元帮别人做医疗保险。否则就不能够在这条村当老师，把你调走。
第四篇：
《与天使同在》
能够成为一名老师是我小时候的理想，当时的动机就是为了得到学生所送的卡片和图画。所以中专毕业后，我选择了回家乡做一名代课老师，即使每月只有三百快钱，住宿条件差，教学条件也差，但看到像天使一样纯真无邪的小学生时，一切的抱怨也就消失得无影无踪了。
记得每次下去家访，看到学生的家庭状况生活情况，总忍不住转过背黯然落泪。有些学生是单身家庭的；有些学生是父母同时外出打工的，只有过年过节才回家一次；有些学生身体有缺陷的，无法像正常的小朋友一样；还有些学生，一年到头都是光着脚丫，穿着不合身的破烂的衣服。贫穷并不曾让他们放弃求知的欲望，生活的不如意也不曾夺取他们脸上纯真的笑容。他们依然是勤奋学习，尊师守纪，天真烂漫，善良如水。有时候他们知道老师买菜困难，起码要到十公里外的集市才能够买到菜。就每天早上拿些家里自种的蔬菜给老师。当我要给回钱时，他们就会摇头摆手，怎么也不肯把钱收下来。天真的孩子们总让我感动得满面泪水。所以，我也会尽自己的能力去帮助他们，比如送他们一些我或者是弟弟以前所穿的旧衣服，或者买一对鞋子给光着脚丫的孩子，或者自己掏腰包买些学习用品奖励他们。
之后，我通过自己的努力考取了公办教师。这样我就可以永远跟学生们在一起了。只有跟他们呆在一起，才能够找回最纯真的我，单纯而无邪，就像他们天使般的笑脸。
这个学期，因为编制问题，九月份到现在至今还没有工资领。六年级的学生们在班主任所上的思想品德课上得知我三个月没工资领，还那么认真的给同学们上课，他们就自发组织地捐助我。首先是那天晚上就有两位女同学踩着自行车，拿了一麻包袋东西，里面有20斤大米，一把青菜，一包话梅，二个橙子一个桔子，一包薯片。学生的行为让我为之震惊，我只不过是一位普通的老师，上课时对他们停严格的，他们却这样的来爱我。当时我蹲下来哭了，学生反而说好话来安慰我。第二天早上，陆陆续续的学生不断拿东西放在我宿舍里。不到十平方米的宿舍堆满了大米，蕃薯，鸡蛋，青菜，豆角，玉米，青椒，方便面。还有一位女同学送完鸡蛋我后，还从书包里掏出三块钱硬塞给我，丢下钱就跑了，让我哭笑不得。趁着早读课时，我含着热泪来到六年级教室，首先把三块钱给回那位女同学，跟他们说：“老师不需要你们这样做，我父母也是种田的，米我有，你们拿那么多给我，恐怕下个学期也吃不完，只要你们好好学习，就是对老师最好的礼物了”。也许是因为自己太过激动，在学生面前，一切的语言都显得那么的苍白无力，唯有深深的鞠躬。
下午第三节课，六年级的学生把他们所献的爱心42块钱（都是一元一元的，一大沓）站在我宿舍门口恳请我收下。我真的很惭愧，收了他们的物，怎么可以收他们的钱呢？所以我坚决不要，但学生不死心，站在宿舍门口不停地说要我收下。持续了半个小时后，一个调皮的男生不跟我耍嘴皮了，直接把钱丢进房间里，他们赶快跑了。后来这42块我拿去买资料试卷给他们做了，多出来的那部分钱我垫了出来。
能够实现自己的理想，做一名老师。我想，我是幸福的！即使一个星期23节课，也不觉得苦和累。如果你学会用一颗父母心爱你的学生，你就会发现，其实你拥有了一份多么幸福的工作，拥有一群多么可爱的学生，每天与天使同在。第五篇：
《最后的呐喊》
关于XX市XX镇有12位公办教师，因为教师编制问题四个月没有工资领事件，现在最新的情况是12月份的工资已经回来了，但是前面三个月的工资却没有。我打电话去教育局问，他们说财政局不肯把钱补回来。我很冤，欲哭无泪！
从九月份正式开学到现在，一个星期23节课，工作已经做去了。为什么工资不能补回来？为什么教师上课连正常的工资都不能领得到？为什么政府连口饭也不肯让我们吃啊？就算是做小姐，也不见有人拖欠嫖资的，为什么政府这么无赖，随意克扣教师三个月工资？
那些口袋里装着我们钱的官员们，你们知道吗？我一个月的工资才700元，学校里没有任何的补助费，我是要靠这点微薄的工资去支撑起这个家的，去供我三个弟弟读书的。即使自己一天吃一块钱也好，也要把钱省下来给我弟弟做生活费的。这四个月，我们家是怎么熬过来的？都是四处问人借钱渡日的。就算走投无路也好，我都没有再走以前的路出来做小姐了。但现在财政局说不把那三个月的工资补回来给我，听了之后，心跌到了谷底，心寒心亦痛。难道命运真的不可以改变的吗？难道我天生就是做“鸡”的吗？我无言问苍天。
如果这个世界上真的有菩萨的话，菩萨那你看到了信女的悲惨遭遇了吗？为什么你不发下善心大慈大悲救苦救难呢？我还应不应该信你呢？你教我忍辱行善，教我静心放下，教我解脱。为什么，忍一时不是风平浪静，退一步也不是海阔天空，换来的却是恶人的得寸进尺，无路可走呢？弟子深知罪业深重，但请不要惩罚我的家人吧，如果上辈子我们做错了什么，这辈子就让一切的报应都报在我一个人的身上吧。爸爸妈妈弟弟都是我的命根子来的。
爸爸妈妈，真是对不起，如果你们不生下我们的话，那么你们也应该像同村的人一样应该有楼房住了，靠自己劳种而获丰衣足食无忧无虑了。
爸爸，你知道吗？你的叹息声，虽然能够激励我和弟弟努力学习，但也成为我们心中永远承受不起的重。上两个星期，寒流袭来，你生病发高烧，做女儿的却没有钱给你去看病，只能靠妈妈用姜片给你擦身退烧。爸，我的心好痛，宁愿生病的人是我，也不想你再受一丁点苦了，你所受的苦难道还不够吗？自胆结石开刀后，感染了肝病，之后全身都长满了大大小小的瘤。爸，你知道我是多么的怕失去你吗？有时候做恶梦，梦见你不在了，吓醒后，我就抱着枕头哭，爸，我爱你！我们不能够失去你！你要好好的活着，等弟弟将来都出来了，我们要让你好好的享受，把一切最好的东西都给你！
妈妈，我也对不起你，你血崩流了一个多月的经血，我也问不到人借钱给你去医院看下，只能眼睁睁的看着你的血不断向外流，脸色惨白，身体不断得干癟下去。
大弟弟，姐姐也对不起你，连你放假从XX坐车回来的车费都找不到给你。两个小弟弟，姐姐没有尽到最大的努力去帮你们，让快要高考的你们俩兄弟既要面对学习上的困难，也要担心那几百块钱的生活费，其实姐姐还是可以出来做“鸡”的，但是姐姐怕因果报应，放不下自己啊。
那两个还没有来到人世间的精灵，我也对不起你们，虽然我不知道你们的父亲是谁，但是我终止了让你们投胎来人世间一趟的机会。我想这两年，你们这两个小鬼也一直缠着我不放，我也得到了相对应的报应，让我失去了做母亲的资格。我不怨谁，只怪我们没有缘分。但我会把我的爱放在我的学生身上的，每一个学生都是我自己的孩子！
可是孩子们，老师也对不起你们啊。老师开学时说过，平时英语测验成绩90分以上的，老师会掏钱出来买些学习用品奖励你们的。第一，二单元测验时，老师都兑现了承诺，但后来几个单元，老师说话不算数了，因为老师实在是拿不出几十块前买练习本奖励你们了，而且考取90分的同学也越来越多，反而却要让你们破费拿米，拿蔬菜，拿鸡蛋，拿蕃薯过来给我吃，六年级的学生还献爱心捐了42元给我，真的让老师既开心又痛苦。但老师答应你们，等到时候拿到工资了，我一定会买练习本回来补发给你们的。
23岁，对于同龄人来说，是一个什么样精彩的世界呢？我不曾经历过。
23岁的我，不断在天堂和地狱之间轮回。我有反抗过，把问题写到书记电子信箱里，也试过写些文章投稿赚取生活费，但一切都是徒劳，处处碰壁。
现在对我来说，最重要的是能够把那前三个月的工资要回来，过一些属于正常人的生活。那点钱，是留着给我弟弟读书用的，如果讨不回来，我只能够考自己的方式去赚钱给我弟弟读书了。但我真的很害怕，我已经改邪归正有两年没有出来过了，信佛之后的我已经性冷淡，很在乎陌生人看到我的身体，那种滋味，比自己用刀来割破身体还要难受。我很矛盾，有谁能够帮帮我，救救我？
今晚自己的心情真的很差，快要崩溃了，财政局不肯把那三个月的工资补回给我，反而又要扣我一个月工资去修路，还强行摊牌扣我们250元去帮农民做农村医疗保险。年初六我的那两个高三的弟弟就要补课了，我到那里找学费去？我只不过是一名热爱自己职业的老师，为什么政府还这样剥削我们，不让我们活，难道真的要逼良为娼吗？我知道就算一死，也不会引起大家的关注的。我该怎么办呢？有谁能够帮帮我，帮我把那三个月的工资拿回来，那是给我弟弟读书的钱，没有钱我弟弟怎么上学去啊？
我只想要平静的生活，我只想靠自己的工资去支撑这个家，可是为什么越活就越难活，越活就越难过？
我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！
我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！
我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！我只想要平静的生活！